I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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