Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize