Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This house was built for laser tag.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
