let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize