tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
