Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Non-Jews are for practice
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
