it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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