Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Come on in and take your pants off
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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