im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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