Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
