your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
