Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
