I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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