did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
