Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
