Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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