WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
