I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
