He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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