You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
