last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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