fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
