I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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