sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
