I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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