if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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