I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
