Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Houston, we have a squirter
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
