not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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