someone get that fucking seahorse.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
