I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Everyone says I win the strip club
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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