We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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