The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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