therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Help. Why am I so naked?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
