It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
