i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
