Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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