yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
