I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
