I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
