my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
