it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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