I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
