You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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