Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
