Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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