I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
