ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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