____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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