How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
