After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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