If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize