just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
