That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He has the fingertips of a God
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