even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dignity is for republicans.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
