apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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