sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
