lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
two words: eviction party
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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