She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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