I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
