Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize