There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
