So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
